Have you ever gotten something you really wanted and then once you have it you don’t know if you want it anymore? That is exactly how eighteen-year-old me felt after a semester at UNC Chapel Hill.
Honestly, I didn’t know I wanted to go to Carolina until I got in. Being first-generation and low-income, I didn’t know Carolina was a possibility. I mean, what qualifications did I really have to be accepted into a university with a 17% acceptance rate? The moment I opened my decision letter I felt like a whole new person, something I hadn’t felt with my other acceptances. Scared, happy, and overwhelmed don’t even begin to describe what I was feeling. Was this the path for me? Can I handle the rigor of UNC? Of course, being a high-achiever and perfectionist with an associates degree I had nothing to worry about, right?
Campus felt like a dream. I made friends as soon as I got there, found a new club or organization I might be interested in everyday, everyone was so welcoming. Little did I know, I was in for a wild ride. I knew classes were going to be hard but I didn’t anticipate the true level of intensity and the toll it would take on me mentally. The first class I took a test in was biopsychology. Pre-college me thought it would be a great idea to learn more about the chemical aspect of psychology since it wasn’t my strong suit before. Well, I wish someone would have told me not to get too ahead of myself because I flunked that test so hard! It was all downhill from there. I had no idea what I was doing and was barely staying afloat. At that point I did what any college student would do and looked into other majors. However, being the person I am, I never allowed myself to fully research and discuss new opportunities. Why? I felt as though changing my major made me a failure and would show people I gave up. It also didn’t feel right. I felt that if I changed it I would be making a huge mistake.
I reflected on this experience before I started my role as a College and Career Advisor with the Appalachian State College Advising Corps and it made me extremely nervous. How am I supposed to guide and advise seniors to have a steady and successful path when mine was less than the best. I realize now my unsteady experience makes me stronger. I get to connect with students on a deeper level. My honesty about my experiences makes students more comfortable with telling me when they are struggling to obtain the goals they have set for themselves.
All of this to say, everything happens for a reason. There is a reason I didn’t quit. There is a reason I didn’t change my major. Although I don’t know those reasons yet the one thing I do know is I’m ok. I didn’t die or fail. Now, I honestly have everything I could ever ask for in life. I constantly remind myself that life didn’t stop at my lowest point. I chose to venture on and take charge of my life. Without this experience I wouldn’t be able to tell my seniors with confidence that when you feel you aren’t in the right place, listen to yourself because only you know where you need to be.
Before College:
During College:
After College:
Written by Isabella Mowery, adviser McDowell High School
Isabella Mowery, adviser McDowell High School
Isabella Mowery, adviser McDowell High School