1000 patient care hours. That was all that stood between me and my goal of becoming a physician assistant. I had just graduated from Appalachian State University with a bachelor's degree in Exercise Science with a minor in Psychology. I took all of the classes needed but now I needed the “experience” of working in healthcare. I graduated May 2020, right in the middle of a global pandemic, so healthcare jobs were pretty scarce in my hometown. Once I finally landed a job as a medical assistant, I was so excited to finally get 1:1 interactions with patients, healthcare providers and administrative staff. As I began my journey in healthcare I started realizing there were many flaws in the healthcare system and that unhealthy work environments were very prevalent in today's society. After working in healthcare for three years I realized I did not enjoy the work I was doing anymore. The scariest moment of my life came when I realized What do I do now.
I felt like I had let my family down by not following through on the goal that had been a part of my plan since high school. I was tormented with the thoughts that I wasted so much time and put myself in debt for no reason at all. After a lot of prayer and self-reflection, I decided it was time to figure out my next steps. After countless job searches and researching different careers my mom said “What if you applied for the College Adviser position at Freedom High?”, at first I shrugged it off because all I knew about the education system was the stigma that you won’t make any money and you won’t be happy. Plus 18 year-old Mattie said “I will never work in a school”. But, with no other prospects on my horizon I figured I had to give it a chance because I had no other choice.
As I began my training for this position, the imposter syndrome set in. I was constantly second guessing that I wouldn’t be able to relate to my students or foster the important friendships with my colleagues. As I started creating friendships with my fellow advisers, I realized I was not alone in feeling like I didn’t belong there. Once training was over and I had to enter the school building I realized it was now or never. As the fall semester progressed and I completed more meetings with my students, I started coming out of my shell and became comfortable in a school setting. After I watched the counseling team at Freedom High work collaboratively with each other, their administrators, and their students, a nudge in my heart was pulling me in the direction of continuing with this work. At first, I was hesitant because this job was only supposed to be a “filler” block of time where I figured out what was next for me, but then I realized that I had figured out what I wanted to do next and it was right in front of my eyes every single day. I started researching school counseling programs close to me and found the perfect fit at Lenoir-Rhyne University. I now will be able to work on my school counseling degree while being a full-time college adviser also. Starting the process completely over was one of the scariest things I have ever done, but I am so thankful I did because it helped me discover my passion of becoming a school counselor and working with my students.
I will leave you with the thought of It Is Okay To Change Your Mind. I wish I could have realized this sooner and discovered my passion earlier. But, I know God had a plan in place for me and took me down the other path so I could learn some important lessons on how a colleague is supposed to be treated, what a toxic work environment is (and how it can be detrimental to your mental health), how to talk to someone about their future plans, and how to uplift and empower students each and every day. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the encouragement and love from my family and friends who push me to be the very best that I can be for my students and for myself. So, if you are out there and you are at a crossroads and feel you have to stay on one path the rest of your life, just know that it is okay to change your mind.
This is a poem I created during App State CAC End of Year Retreat about a time I met with a student.
What Do I Do Now?
As I sit down the butterflies come like a flood.
I hold so much potential in my hands for the next 15 minutes.
My plan?
Smile, Agree, Encourage
I have to make them like me.
They need to see I am on their side & I am not an enemy.
My tone and attitude will determine their next steps.
The rehearsed lines and bits are ready.
But they say “I don’t know what to do.”
& now I’m the one that doesn’t know what to do.
I freeze because I’m sitting in those exact same shoes right now, just 8 years later. So I still smile, agree and encourage their feelings.
I also validate their current experiences.
We then speak on our interests and discover a few things in common.
Then we realized an hour had passed since this interaction had begun.
As they stand to leave and walk out the door they say “Thanks for just listening, Mrs. McManus.” & now I finally figured out what I want to do and what I need to do.
Written by Mattie McManus, adviser Freedom High School
Mattie McManus, adviser Freedom High School
Mattie McManus, adviser Freedom High School